If I Don’t Know You, Don’t Ask Me To Read Your Crap Book…please.

I’m someone who loves to help others.  I especially love being overly, dramatically enthusiastic over my friends. 
If you’re my buddy, I will bend over backwards to do you a favor, whenever possible, to the best of my ability. Not to brag, but I’m pretty awesome to stay in the good graces of. 

And, in my desire to brag up and see those whom I’m acquainted with succeed, I’ve taken on work for friends.  I’ve given time to colleagues. If you are my buddy and want a book-review, cool, drop me a line, I’ll read your shit. If you want a book beta-read, done, send me an attachment and I’ll get my availability to you.

I’ve never in my life ever had an issue with helping a buddy out. However, I need to complain for a bit now:

I receive at least one message through my site, professional facebook, Amazon account or via Twitter unsolicited from people I don’t know. These messages ask me to read PDFs of books to either review or beta. Yes, they contain files, from strangers, for me to open. 
I’m basically making this blog post to state my unwillingness to open files from strangers.

Also, not to be a bitch (but here goes it anyways) I have no interest devoting hours of my time to reading or reviewing books from people I don’t know. If we are friends, know each other, or have some other professional relationship, have no fear! If a friend refers you to me, cool. I just don’t have time for unsolicited queries. If we know each other, or a friend sends you to me, cool.  Query away, 98% of the time I’ll say yes. But, if you’ve never talked to me in person, haven’t ever shared a conversation with me, or don’t even so much as follow me on twitter…then, who do you think you are asking me to give you all my time for an extended period to help you out? You realize this doesn’t benefit me in anyway, right? Only you?  I get nothing, but lost time, when I review someone else’s manuscript. So, be considerate. 

I also hate how some of these review requests are written, “Here’s your chance to read a truly unique blah blah…”

1- I know without opening the PDF that it isn’t unique…nothing is. Moving on…

3- Why are you acting like you’re doing me a favor?  Your asking me for my help! Come off that!

4-  Yes, I skipped number 2, because like your review request, ain’t nobody got time for that!!!
I hope this makes things clear. 

If you don’t know me, don’t ask me to devote hours of my life to reading your book. If you want my help, come get to know me. I really am perfectly friendly and willing to bend over backwards to help a friend. So, become my friend, that’s all I ask. 

Relationship over all else.

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