You see there's something inherently childish about judging others by our own standards. Most children take people at face value. Most children don't have a laundry list of nefarious plots. This is why we worry about kids being wisked off the playground by grinning strangers with promises of free candy and a pool full of puppies to play with.
I lost because I allowed that person what they wanted out of that interaction: dominance--to cut me down back where they thought I belonged. To hear me give a verbal acknowledgement that I'm not as important as I think I am.
There has been a lot of discussions about whether or not certain females within nerdom are actually nerds/geeks/what-have-you, or just rotten posers.